MJ and the Devil sat at a Burger King, eating lunch. She picked at her whopper. It was, of course, made Her Way, and she was quite hungry, but it was verymuch against her diet and Sparkpeople(tm) informed her that she would be going over her caloric limit if she ate it.
The Devil, who was reflecting MJ's recent poor taste in music, sat in the form of Paul McCartney across the way from her, sipping on a milkshake.
"Just eat it," he insisted. "You're hungry and it's delicious."
"You want to hit that fourth level on Sparkpeople(tm), MJ, and if you go over in calories, you won't," her personal angel, who had taken the form of Barry Manilow to counter the Devil, said. MJ had to agree, and she sipped on her coffee instead. MJ always needed at least three cups of coffee whenever she had lunch with the Devil.
The Devil let out an irritated sigh. "So," he said, by way of changing the subject. "Tell me again about this utopia where you're the dictator."
It had been an exercise in class earlier in the day, where everyone had to say one thing that would make the world a better place. MJ, in a fit of extreme First Day Sassiness(tm) had said the world would be better if she ruled it as dictator. This had seemed like a great idea at the time, and when she told the Devil about it, he offered her a super cool demonic high-five.
"Clearly, I'd just tell everyone how things would be, and they would be that way," MJ said. In her mind, it was all like a rather big dollhouse, but everyone was happy.
"All very Big Brother of you," Barry Manilow said.
"Don't bring that book up," Paul McCartney said. "She doesn't have to start analyzing it until halfway through the semester."
"President Snow, then?" Barry Manilow asked. "Greatest Elder? Destiny? Myspace Tom? Lord Rassilon? There are many reasons why dictatorships don't work in fiction, which is the only place MJ would be living if she expected to actually rule a world."
It was true. MJ could hardly balance her own checkbook, much less juggle the economics of a whole planet. She was, however, very good at actually juggling, which she believed meant something in the long run.
"But what if it could happen?" Paul McCartney said, and his eyes flashed evilly with the evilest of evils. It was moments like this that MJ remembered she was actually dealing with the Devil, and those were always very awkward moments for a biology major in secular education. She wondered if she could be excused from this conversation politely.
"I wasn't being entirely serious," MJ admitted. Paul McCartney looked over to her, and she knew he was mentally retracting that super cool demonic high-five from earlier.
She continued, "I think if one thing could be changed, then everyone should just have to accept that evolution is real. It would fix a lot of problems in the scientific field. So much is being missed because of ignorance regarding evolution! I mean, think about how much impact it would actually make if we---"
"Oh bother," both Barry and Paul said, simultaneously.
You are a spectacular author!
ReplyDeleteWell, thanks! This was fun to write.
ReplyDeleteThat was glorious MJ.
ReplyDeleteWow this was really good and insightful, but why is Barry Manilow the angel?
ReplyDeleteBecause no one is as good and wonderful as Barry Manilow. Don't you know? He writes the songs that make the whole world sing. And no one has suffered quite like Barry Manilow. He's been Trying To Get That Feeling Back Again, all the while waiting Even Now for Mandy to Make It Through the Rain. He could never be a devil.
ReplyDeleteI'm really interested in what you think a good global leader might look like, seeing as we have discarded dictatorship?
ReplyDeleteI think a group of people representing a variety of aspects of the world would make a great global leader. We're such a diverse planet, we need a diversity of leaders.
ReplyDeleteFirst, I'd like to commend you on your story. It's absolutely hysterical! You certainly did a fantastic job of grabbing and keeping my attention.
ReplyDeleteNow to the nitty-gritty stuff:
I'm not sure whether the bit about evolution in the penultimate paragraph is serious or a joke (I have trouble understanding certain kinds of written humor). If it is serious, I'm not sure that's such a good idea. Trying to get over four billion people of faith (that's an optimistic statistic which assumes everyone with some kind of faith is also a creationist in some capacity) to reject one of their dearest beliefs seems unfair.
We talk about love, understanding, and coexistence making the world a better place; however, making people believe in one certain thing seems wrong.
And of course, there's always the prospect of a war of religion breaking out. The Western world hasn't seen a major one of those in nearly 400 years, and I think it's best if it stays that way.
But I'm honestly curious how you plan on getting people to accept evolution. Would it be a forceful measure, or something completely different?
Good idea or bad, I think you have a very interesting idea (and a huge propensity for creative writing).
Thanks, I'm glad you like it.
ReplyDeleteThere are many people of faith who accept the reality of evolution. I don't think they need to lose their faith simply because science and evidence shows evolution is real. I just think they need to modify their beliefs.
The scientific world is wracked with different problems because of a lack of understanding regarding evolution. Evolution is, at its core, a very simple thing. It is simply that some people believe that because there is a "Theory" put in front of it, it may not be true. There are also those that believe it means we, as humans, came from "monkeys", which is also not what evolution says.
I think education is the primary way of changing this. However, I think that it is becoming more and more difficult to explain it in schools with people who are so bull-headed demanding that non-justified theories come out in the scientific classroom.
However, I do NOT want this to become a religious debate. It is simply what I would change if I could.