"O stand, stand at the window
As the tears scald and start;
You shall love your crooked neighbor
With your crooked heart."
- W. H. Auden, "One Evening"
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MJ and the Devil sat at a Burger King, eating lunch. She picked at her whopper. It was, of course, made Her Way, and she was quite hungry, but it was verymuch against her diet and Sparkpeople(tm) informed her that she would be going over her caloric limit if she ate it.
The Devil, who was reflecting MJ's recent poor taste in music, sat in the form of Paul McCartney across the way from her, sipping on a milkshake.
"Just eat it," he insisted. "You're hungry and it's delicious."
"You want to hit that fourth level on Sparkpeople(tm), MJ, and if you go over in calories, you won't," her personal angel, who had taken the form of Barry Manilow to counter the Devil, said. MJ had to agree, and she sipped on her coffee instead. MJ always needed at least three cups of coffee whenever she had lunch with the Devil.
The Devil let out an irritated sigh. "So," he said, by way of changing the subject. "Tell me again about this utopia where you're the dictator."
It had been an exercise in class earlier in the day, where everyone had to say one thing that would make the world a better place. MJ, in a fit of extreme First Day Sassiness(tm) had said the world would be better if she ruled it as dictator. This had seemed like a great idea at the time, and when she told the Devil about it, he offered her a super cool demonic high-five.
"Clearly, I'd just tell everyone how things would be, and they would be that way," MJ said. In her mind, it was all like a rather big dollhouse, but everyone was happy.
"All very Big Brother of you," Barry Manilow said.
"Don't bring that book up," Paul McCartney said. "She doesn't have to start analyzing it until halfway through the semester."
"President Snow, then?" Barry Manilow asked. "Greatest Elder? Destiny? Myspace Tom? Lord Rassilon? There are many reasons why dictatorships don't work in fiction, which is the only place MJ would be living if she expected to actually rule a world."
It was true. MJ could hardly balance her own checkbook, much less juggle the economics of a whole planet. She was, however, very good at actually juggling, which she believed meant something in the long run.
"But what if it could happen?" Paul McCartney said, and his eyes flashed evilly with the evilest of evils. It was moments like this that MJ remembered she was actually dealing with the Devil, and those were always very awkward moments for a biology major in secular education. She wondered if she could be excused from this conversation politely.
"I wasn't being entirely serious," MJ admitted. Paul McCartney looked over to her, and she knew he was mentally retracting that super cool demonic high-five from earlier.
She continued, "I think if one thing could be changed, then everyone should just have to accept that evolution is real. It would fix a lot of problems in the scientific field. So much is being missed because of ignorance regarding evolution! I mean, think about how much impact it would actually make if we---"
"Oh bother," both Barry and Paul said, simultaneously.